Orange Unicorn 16 – Nature 3

Orange-Unicorn_016

As much as nature humbles me, breaking me down, admitting how small, how tiny and how quick I am to die… it also strengthens and reminds me that we are all beautiful.


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Your support means a lot to me: it helps me keep going. So if you’d like to stay updated with the webcomic make sure to follow the blog – button is off to the side!
You can also follow my Facebook Art page, Instagram (@jandrewgilbert), and Twitter (@jandrewgil), for updates.
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Orange Unicorn 14 – Nature 2

Orange-Unicorn_015

It’s good to remember, that we’re just starting. I think this is true even for those of us who feel “old.” This world has lasted a lot longer than we have, and maybe that can help us see the world with a more open hand, open heart.


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Your support means a lot to me: it helps me keep going. So if you’d like to stay updated with the webcomic make sure to follow the blog – button is off to the side!
You can also follow my Facebook Art page, Instagram (@jandrewgilbert), and Twitter (@jandrewgil), for updates.

Orange Unicorn 14 – Nature

Orange-Unicorn_014

Haven’t updated in awhile, but here it is. There’ll be a couple more with nature. After that I’ll be taking a break (I know, it’s like I was already taking a break….) from Orange Unicorn to reevaluate the style, the colors I use and how I want to keep moving forward with this project. As far as I can tell it’s been moving towards something a lot more self-care and mindfulness focused.

Thank you for being with me on this journey so far. It’s not always easy for me, but I’ve been updating this blog somewhat regularly for a year! And I hope you stick around on what is to come!


Previous episode – Next episode (to come)
Your support means a lot to me: it helps me keep going. So if you’d like to stay updated with the webcomic make sure to follow the blog – button is off to the side!
You can also follow my Facebook Art page, Instagram (@jandrewgilbert), and Twitter (@jandrewgil), for updates.

Orange Unicorn 13 – Joe Is

Joe-IsOrange-Unicorn_013BOrange-Unicorn_013COrange-Unicorn_013DOrange-Unicorn_013EOrange-Unicorn_013FOrange-Unicorn_013GOrange-Unicorn_013HOrange-Unicorn_013I

We all are Joe.

If it resonated with you, share it with someone that you want to show your appreciation for!


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Your support means a lot to me: it helps me keep going. So if you’d like to stay updated with the webcomic make sure to follow the blog – button is off to the side!
You can also follow my Facebook Art page, Instagram (@jandrewgilbert), and Twitter (@jandrewgil), for updates.

Drawing Series on Depression and Anxiety

 

 

Imagine me, younger, around the age of ten. my hair is longer and lighter. My nose hasn’t grown yet; it still has soft curves. My eyelashes and eyebrows are dark and heavy, hiding my eyes a little. I’m standing on this hill, just outside my house, my legs straight, my gaze firm as I look out into the city that fills the valleys and climbs the hills. The hill I stand on is covered in a green sheet. Not exactly the green you’re thinking of, but the green contaminated with a blue cold and grey tint; the sky is filled with soft shapes and gradations of clouds. Everything feels a little bit quieter. And I’m there on the hill, just quietly sad. My body feels empty, and so does my heart.

I have this memory from childhood, and I don’t recall if it’s been fabricated by my brain or if it happened.

I always was a little bit of a sad person. Even a sad kid really. I’ve heard from people that they see me as a joyful, calm and happy person. But I think I always carried with me a certain weight of sadness. Sure, I also had my happy moments, but there was sadness lurking about within. Almost like my happiness always had to be tinted with sorrow.

I don’t know where it comes from, why it existed. Why it exists. Maybe it’s my sensitive heart. Or maybe it started when my friend died in elementary school, run over by a truck when he was biking. I was 7, he was 6.

Maybe I’ve been enamored to sadness. Sadness has a richness of its own. It’s very nuanced, and feels real and tangible.

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Wherever it came from, this sadness hit the hardest in my teenage years.When I entered puberty and suddenly saw everything changing around me—my own body, my friends, the place I lived in—suddenly carrying my friend Sadness wasn’t ok anymore.

While I struggled to grasp my emotions, to gain some control of them, a friend committed suicide. He was almost an acquaintance really, but we were getting closer. This event ignited my own sadness, and suddenly it burst into thoughts of self-harm; and suicide made its space in my mind. Talking with my mom, we agreed that I should see a psychologist.

I had already struggled with a mild degree of depression, but suddenly I felt like the whole world crashed on me—anxiety was thrown into the mix. I felt unable to solve my problems and unable to be of any help to others. Looking back, I think I felt like a ghost. Unable to affect any real force or change, in the world, or in myself. My pain was cerebral, emotional, abstract. But to some degree I truly felt alienated from my body, and I decided to forget my body. Unable to enact change, I let myself slip more and more into the abstract self, into my head, away from the physical.

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Going to a psychologist for the next year or so really helped me. It helped me deal with insecurities, helped me see myself not as incapable, but as weakened. I could build myself up, slowly.

(To be continued)


I’ll post the second part to this on Thursday the 8th.

I wanted to talk about depression and anxiety. It’s something that I care deeply about, because of my own experiences and of those close to me. There’s a couple of other blog posts that touch a little bit on these topics. If you want to check them out here’s a small list of items relating to this topic, either by referencing it, or searching for solutions.

Liiiiiiiine

What Made Me Cry This Week – Yoga

Remember This 4

Remember This 3

Thank you for reading through this story, your support, time and attention means a lot to me: it helps me keep going. If you’d like to stay updated make sure to follow the blog – button is off to the side!

You can also follow my Facebook Art page, Instagram (@jandrewgilbert), and Twitter (@jandrewgil), for updates.

 

Orange Unicorn – Remember This 11

Orange Unicorn - We Are Body

Sometimes we forget that we’re this body. When we walk through this life we forget to feel our bodies fully, breath, touch, smells, sight, tastes. Feel your body fully. Remember.


 

I’m really proud of this one. Even though I broke several of my own-given rules for the comic. Oh wells. I used reference for it and I feel I should link to that. There’s nudity though, so just be warned of that.

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Your support means a lot to me: it helps me keep going. So if you’d like to stay updated with the webcomic make sure to follow the blog – button is off to the side!

You can also follow my Facebook Art page, Instagram (@jandrewgilbert), and Twitter (@jandrewgil), for updates.

Orange Unicorn – Remember This 07

Orange Unicorn - Remember This

A little bit different than my usual for Orange Unicorn. But it’s something I need to remember. People, with their actions, and their reactions to me, are outside of my control. And that’s okay.


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Your support means a lot to me: it helps me keep going. Going. So if you’d like to stay updated with the webcomic make sure to follow the blog!

You can also follow my Facebook Art page, Instagram (@jandrewgilbert), and Twitter (@jandrewgil), for updates.

Orange Unicorn – Breaaaaaathe 03

Orange Unicorn - Webcomic - Meditation and MindfulnessOrange-Unicorn_003BOrange-Unicorn_003C

I’ve been needing presence of mind. With the first week of classes of my junior year under my belt, all I wanted this past week was rest and to be present. To learn as much as I can, but also to enjoy it, and find pleasure in the small things. This is also how I survived my freshman year.


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Your support means a lot to me: it helps me keep going. Going. Going. So if you’d like to stay updated with the webcomic make sure to follow the blog!

You can also follow my Facebook Art page, Instagram (@jandrewgilbert), or Twitter (@jandrewgil), for updates.

I Care About Things

So. Second episode is up for Orange Unicorn! Go check it out. Now. It’s an order. Or, maybe, just a suggestion? Up to you.

On a similar topic, I don’t know if I’ll be able to keep the webcomic going. I’ve just had my first week of classes back to college. I’m involved in a lot of things, a lot more than I have ever been in college. Last Thursday I just sat in my bed and cried, tired, worried, anxious and everything in between. I ended up watching Hotel Transylvania 2, which I don’t recommend – not the greatest movie, didn’t even offer that many laughs.

I’m going crazy. College reminds me of how much I want to do, how much I need to do and how much incapable I am of doing everything. The funny thing is that, in high school? Well. I slept a lot. And did very little, and just didn’t care. I think the only thing that has changed is that now I care about things.

I care about my grades. I care that I’m making art and making work. I care that I’m putting stuff out there. That I’m working on growing my audience. That I’m working on becoming a paid artist by the time I’m out of college. (Even if it’s part-time.)

I care about things. I care about this webcomic even though it’s just a baby – maybe it’s because it is such a baby that I care so much. It’s so young and fragile; without me will it survive it’s childhood?  So I will stick with it. I will stick with it. I will do it. Because what can be more encouraging than to do something you believed impossible?

I think these Tuesday posts are going to end up being just me reflecting on my webcomic making. Hope you can bear with me.


Your support means a lot to me: it helps me keep going. Going. Going. So if you’d like to stay updated with the webcomic make sure to follow the blog!

You can also follow my Facebook Art page, Instagram (@jandrewgilbert), or Twitter (@jandrewgil), for updates.